Double Dribble

Double Dribble

I don’t know shit about shit. I read more than I ever thought I would. I stay up to date on politics and news way more than I probably need to, and I surround myself with history books, history podcasts, and documentaries about geopolitical struggles that my daughter for some reason calls “dumb president shows” regardless of the content. Sad part is she’s almost never wrong.

Even after all my extracurricular hobbies and studying I still don’t know shit about shit. Most of us don’t. This includes the struggles, triumphs, downfalls, good and bad history of China and its surrounding allies and enemies.

So, why the hell do we think NBA players would know anything about the situation, be versed or educated enough to comment on it, or have an interest in publicly taking a side? This baffles me. This is peak social media warriors trying to ruin people’s lives because they’re bored at work.

Do I care about James Harden’s opinion on the Hong Kong situation? NO! Why would I? Why would I look to Harden or Curry or Steve Kerr for takes on a tweet made by someone else about a situation that is literally and figuratively foreign to them? It’s insanity, it’s clear psychological insanity that ANYONE absolutely NEEDS an NBA player to comment on it, and shits all over them if they don’t.

Reporters only need them to comment so they can have something to talk about and someone to hate for 24 hours.

Think about the absolute vitriol most of us get for our opinions on who should be the next manager of the Padres, now times that by a million in the context of relevance, audience, and reaction and you might understand why these players are keeping it zipped. You think any of them want to risk their careers or paychecks to make a statement so you feel better about a situation that in all likelihood has no affect on your life? Think again. I’m sure you’re #TwitterStrong and you #StandWithHongKong or #StandWithChina or whatever it is you think you’re supposed to tweet to look woke and on the right side of history. I’m sure the blowback from your followers will be harsh no matter your stance, and your job at Jiffy Lube will be in danger.

First off, these players have a vested interest in keeping a global relationship alive because they want to keep their jobs and paychecks and if you think that’s selfish then you’re right! AND WHO FUCKING CARES?! Are you that dim witted to think these players care about you and your fandom? They want to win, and if they can win on the current team they’re on then they want to win for you and your city. That’s as far as it goes. Curry will never come out and say, “Today’s win is for Steve Davis who lives on Mason Dr.”

Secondly, why on Earth do we think these players know anything about the situation in China? Because Yao Ming? Because Joe Tsai? Because basketball is popular there? How many of you reading this have retirement plans? Do you look into what investments that money is being put in to? Probably a little. Do you then do background on the countries that your investments are tied up in and investigate the ethical and militaristic conflicts they’ve accrued over the past few centuries? Probably not. Why would you? Why would James Harden spend his off time reading up on a situation he knows very little about? So, he can give you a sound bite to shit all over on twitter?

Just because the players and league spoke out about social injustices in America doesn’t mean they are versed in social injustices across the globe. Most of you aren’t even aware of the social injustices in your neighborhood. Why are they supposed to be global ethical patriots? Cause they make millions? They make millions to pass and shoot, not to know about fucking Chinese politics. Jesus Christ.

American social injustices they know about. They can speak about them. The majority of the league grew up surround by and knee deep in them. They speak up about it because they are versed and knowledgeable in it. You know what pisses them off though? When people who don’t know shit about their situations have “hot takes” on the climate of impoverished communities. So, why would they do that themselves when it comes to China?

Nowadays we’re all supposed to know everything about everything and everyone and always be on the side that is perceived by the masses of your social media timelines to be correct. We have infinite knowledge at our hands so why wouldn’t we be omniscient? Ha! Maybe in a bit when the players have time to study and look into it they will speak up and have a statement…that you can then shit all over on twitter…just, maybe!

For now they’re protecting themselves, their families, and not spouting off ignorance. Yes, in today’s wackadoo culture that can be construed as selfishness, but sometimes not knowing about a topic and shutting the fuck about it is the right move, and refreshing.

For more expert sports stuff, and things you probably won’t care about, follow me on Twitter @dallas_mc

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Written By :

Dallas McLaughlin is a writer and performer for the Emmy-winning Yo! Gabba Gabba! and The Aquabats! Super Show! He's also worked as a consultant for Disney Television Animation, Nickelodeon, and Fox Sports. A diehard San Diego sports fan, Dallas has written passionately against the DH and in favor of Padre Brown for, The Sports Minute, Fox Sports, Voice of San Diego, San Diego Magazine, and is one of the founding members of The Kept Faith. A professional standup comedian who's performed with Norm McDonald, Chris Hardwick, Dave Attell, Jeff Garlin, and many more. He recently won San Diego's Funniest Person Contest, and has been featured on FoxRox, Tonight in San Diego, and was a DJ on FM94/9 for over seven years. Dallas has spent over two decades on stage as an actor, award-winning playwright and director. In his spare time, Dallas likes to eat burritos, drink beer, and talk to his wife about her dislike for Harry Connick, Jr.

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