The Skipper!

The Skipper!

Most of us wanted Andy Green fired. That’s just the truth, and it’s fine. It honestly makes no difference. Andy Green was a rookie manager who didn’t have enough experience to lead guys who were pretty much his age into the new era of brown and gold. If we kept him it would have been admission that everything is going as planned and clearly it is not.

So, whether you likes Green or not (and, I’m betting he was a good guy, good Baseball guy.) his firing is a hint that things need to change across the board. A new manager might just do the trick. So, who are the names on the list? You might be surprised and also you totally might not be. I rank them below:

Joe Maddon: We have to start with the clear front runner here. While his services will come with a hefty price tag, no current active manager has a better track record of guiding young talent no matter the stakes. He also seems to not mind the relevancy of his position as his talents have a way of making his clubs relevant. He turned the entire Rays franchise around, and brought glory to Wrigley after a century of dashed dreams. With the recent firing of Brad Ausmus you’d have to assume The Angels are gonna bid high and hard for their former employee, and The Phillies are said to be players if they decide to let Kapler go, and they probably will. I’ve heard some other teams mentioned, and they could all be landing spots for the very talented, very savvy skipper. He’s number one on my list because why the hell wouldn’t he be?! He’s obviously a great manager, has a ton of experience, especially with young, talented players. If they can get him expectations will be high, and that’s fine with me.

Rod Barajas: Yea, he’s my number two, and I don’t think that’s wrong. Right now there is no one other than Maddon I’d really want in that captain’s chair, but Barajas would work just fine. He knows the players very well, knows the franchise, the area, the game. He does lack big league managerial experience, but he makes up for that with what is clearly a great relationship with the team. He’ll be affordable, hungry, and well-aware of what ownership expects. Most fans thought his arrival last year was a sign that Andy Green’s days were numbered. Half off that prophecy came true. What happens next?

Brad Ausmus: With the announcement that the Angels fired him today, most Padres’ fans got very hot and bothered. There has always been this love affair with Ausmus and honestly, I don’t get it. But, I do get why he’s a sought after skipper. He had a good run with a rollercoaster of a team in Detroit, and was served up a clunker in Anaheim that he ultimately got the blame for. It’s not Ausmus’ fault Trout, Ohtani and Upton all got hurt. It’s not his fault the pitching staff was a dud, and definitely not his fault when it comes to the tragedy of Tyler Skaggs, which undoubtedly crushed the team. He’s considered a good mind in the game, and as mentioned people already love him in town. If they go with him, I would not be upset in the least.

Bruce Bochy: I don’t know, guys. I just don’t really know what we’re doing here. You can’t just say Bochy to Padres’ fans and then leave it alone. You peaked all of our interest, but probably not his. Why would he come out of retirement? Why would he do that for the Padres? The man has nothing to prove to anyone in San Diego. He clearly lost interest in managing while in San Francisco. I mean, he was visibly asleep in the dugout at times. He’s a legend. He is the last memory of managerial success we have, but he’s done. We should let him be.

Mike Scioscia: He’s only this far up my list cause he’s won a World Series. He had a lot of very successful years in Los Angles of Anaheim, was well-liked for the most part, and knows how to work with a wide range of age and talent. Biggest issue? He’s past his prime, was given the games best player and could do nothing. In his later years he became a statue of a bygone era in the concrete triangle. If we wound up with him I wouldn’t be pissed, but I wouldn’t not be pissed?

Ron Washington: I mean, fuck, sure! I am on board for at least one year of Washington. That’ll be it. But, what a year! I’d take him as my bench coach…

Moises Alou: What?

Mark Loretta: Oh, just fucking…I don’t…listen, we all loved Loretta, as a player we never thought would matter, but who ultimately did. That’s it. Let him, I don’t know, manage a bit, or something? He’s got roughly the same experience as Barajas, but Big Rod knows these players waaaaay better.

See, once we get this far down the list I get pretty damn worried. We’re gonna wind up with fucking Phil Nevin as our coach because while Uncle Ron was nickel and diming the Angels took Maddon, the Mets nabbed Ausmus and the Giants stole Barajas. We are gonna get screwed here again, I can just feel it. As soon as I saw Alou and Loretta and Scioscia, I knew this might end very badly.

I want to keep the faith, but who has the god damn time anymore. As I get older and my body breaks down more and more I am faced with the real possibility of never seeing the Padres win it all, while having to watch Nevin get kicked out of games for arguing balls and strikes.

Do the right thing here, Uncle Ron and Uncle Pete. Shell out and make a run otherwise your whining and bitching is just that.

For more expert sports stuff, and things you probably won’t care about, follow me on Twitter @dallas_mc

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Written By :

Dallas McLaughlin is a writer and performer for the Emmy-winning Yo! Gabba Gabba! and The Aquabats! Super Show! He's also worked as a consultant for Disney Television Animation, Nickelodeon, and Fox Sports. A diehard San Diego sports fan, Dallas has written passionately against the DH and in favor of Padre Brown for, The Sports Minute, Fox Sports, Voice of San Diego, San Diego Magazine, and is one of the founding members of The Kept Faith. A professional standup comedian who's performed with Norm McDonald, Chris Hardwick, Dave Attell, Jeff Garlin, and many more. He recently won San Diego's Funniest Person Contest, and has been featured on FoxRox, Tonight in San Diego, and was a DJ on FM94/9 for over seven years. Dallas has spent over two decades on stage as an actor, award-winning playwright and director. In his spare time, Dallas likes to eat burritos, drink beer, and talk to his wife about her dislike for Harry Connick, Jr.

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