On Booing Weaver

On Booing Weaver

Ah, yes. Let’s “boo” Jered Weaver. Let us force our opinion of him – on him. Let’s all join hands and be assholes – together. As one. Like, “the wave”, but instead of lifting our hands we purse our lips into an “o” shape and let out a noise that scared children in the 1950’s. We’ve done it! We’ve won the day! We made this pitcher feel terrible for not being good at his job. You know when I go to a Starbucks and my barista gets my order wrong, or puts too much milk in my cappuccino I let out a strong “boooo”. If I’m at the theater watching a Chris Pine film I’ll let out a quiet “boooo” if I’m not satisfied with what’s happening on screen. Sometimes I boo police officers for giving me tickets, or waiters for forgetting my water. The other day I booed a baby in a commercial for not being cute enough. This morning I booed the newspaper because I disagreed with its take on the weather. Yes, the best way to convey what we’re feeling and at the exact same time let someone know they are bad at what they do is to “booo”.

And, Weaver certainly deserves it! I mean it’s his fault he’s older. It’s his fault that the skills of players in Major League Baseball get worse at the tail end of the careers, giving birth to the term “tail end of their careers.” It’s his fault his velocity disappeared – he can do something about that whenever he wants! It’s his fault the Padres offered him a contract worth $3 million dollars, and he accepted it! He could have not accepted it. He could have said, “No! I am not a good pitcher anymore and I refuse this three million dollars. How dare you want to give me that much money?!” He could have done that, but HE DIDN’T! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I would have respectfully declined the money. No one would ever booo me.

And, I think it’s good we’re booing the right person, you know? I mean, the entire problem begins and soon enough will end with Jered Weaver. I can’t even begin to think whom else we should boo. Not the ownership, they had nothing to do with this. They would never knowingly sign a player who has been getting worse and worse every single year at an almost record-breaking pace. That does not sound like a smart business move. AJ Preller had nothing to do with this either. He’s just the General Manager. He’s the guy in charge of putting together the roster, and since Weaver is on the DL he’s not technically “on the roster”, so it wouldn’t make any sense to boo Preller. The lawyers, the team officials, Weaver’s agent, Jeff Weaver, the song “Dream Weaver”, the accountants, the training staff, nope, nope, nope, nope. The only person in the wrong here is indeed Jered Weaver.

And, it’s mainly because he’s not even trying. I’ve seen him pitch, and I’m in the stands, and I’ve been writing about the Padres for over a decade now, so I know. I can tell he’s not trying. This is why I’ve been offered so many jobs within several MLB dugouts. I’m very astute about when a player is trying or not. I’ve always tried. Always. I’ve never had a boss yell at me for not giving it my all, and I’ve certainly never had a bad day at work! Ever. And, I certainly wouldn’t even think about having a bad day if I made THREE MILLION DOLLARS! It’s not like that’s below market value for a pitcher who had three of the best years of any pitcher in Baseball just a few seasons ago. And, it’s not like $3.87 millions dollars is the average salary for Major League Baseball players. We definitely shouldn’t boo the Player’s Association for shaping pricetags. On top of it all, it’s refreshing to see people on twitter and the blogs agree with me. If the majority of us think it, then it has to be true. Kennedy said that.

Nope. He’s not trying. Not even a little. Shame on him, and no one else involved for him being at this point in his career with very little he can do to right the ship other than take PEDs – and lord knows I’m waiting for that to happen, so I can boooooooooooooo him over and over again. I’m making my sign with an asterisk on it right now.

The best part about it all is that now he knows he’s been pitching poorly. We are providing a service.


For more expert sports stuff, and things you probably won’t care about, follow me on Twitter @dallas_mc

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Written By :

Dallas McLaughlin is a writer and performer for the Emmy-winning Yo! Gabba Gabba! and The Aquabats! Super Show! He's also worked as a consultant for Disney Television Animation, Nickelodeon, and Fox Sports. A diehard San Diego sports fan, Dallas has written passionately against the DH and in favor of Padre Brown for SI.com, The Sports Minute, Fox Sports, Voice of San Diego, San Diego Magazine, and is one of the founding members of The Kept Faith. A professional standup comedian who's performed with Norm McDonald, Chris Hardwick, Dave Attell, Jeff Garlin, and many more. He recently won San Diego's Funniest Person Contest, and has been featured on FoxRox, Tonight in San Diego, and was a DJ on FM94/9 for over seven years. Dallas has spent over two decades on stage as an actor, award-winning playwright and director. In his spare time, Dallas likes to eat burritos, drink beer, and talk to his wife about her dislike for Harry Connick, Jr.

1 Comment

  • arossett

    agreed. Booing Weaver might relieve some frustration, but it won’t relieve much. He is the wrong object of our boos.

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