Week 15 Recap: Chargers @ Chiefs
The Chargers are not in Kansas anymore. In fact they never were, despite what my favorite backup QB Cardale Jones might have thought (via twitter):
“Soooooo Kansas City is in state of Missouri?….NOT Kansas. So thank you Mrs. Johnson from 4th grade geography, just lost 20 bucks. If you are reading this, I feel like you should cash app me that 20 piece.”
Bravo to Cardale, friend of the pod, for using the cash app: he’s not using the other apps.
And for setting up my sweet metaphor. Because this game was a bizzaro Wizard of Oz: The second half of the game was so different it might as well have been in black and white. The Chargers reverted to c.2011 peak Norv implosion mode. Rivers was chucking it up like it was going to clank off the hands of Seyi Ajirotutu.
This is the team we’ve known so well. Losing in inconceivable fashion early in the season, clawing their way back into contention, controlling their own destiny, then finally, having that destiny intercepted by Marcus Peters who the Chargers should have drafted in 2015.
And some more things happened in the game:
- Tyreek Hill had a hilarious collision/fumble with a teammate, and deserves to be in jail for domestic abuse. Though apparently he can outrun everything.
- Coons missed another PAT. The Chargers don’t have the placekicker they need, but they have the one they deserve.
- Kareem Hunt made an impressive catch for a TD but the ball briefly glanced at the turf out of the corner of its eye, and it was ruled incomplete. DID YOU KNOW: under current rules there has never been a completed pass in NFL history.
- Some dumb asshole on the Chargers had perfectly covered a punt and was able to down it on the 1-yard line but stepped on the goal line like a dumb asshole and I laughed and laughed.
- Keenan Allen injured his “back,” and I wish him a full recovery on the bench where he can’t juke CBs like they are children.
- Somewhere in North Carolina, Panthers owner Jerry Richardson was ogling a woman’s ass unaware that he was about to lose his life’s work the next day.
The Bolts got exposed, and it’s the only kind of exposure that doesn’t help you in LA.
Jono Zalay is a native San Diegan and co-host of the F*** The Chargers podcast, available on iTunes and all those other places. He now lives in Los Angeles where he can hate the Chargers from close proximity.