SEZ UGH: Nick Canepa’s Continued March To Blankness

SEZ UGH: Nick Canepa’s Continued March To Blankness

I wish I had a more structured approach to what I’m about to write, but like Nick Canepa why would I try for something like that? His column has and always will read exactly like what he despises – a subpar blog that strives for controversy, but in the end is just an irrelevant rant full of takes so old Trevor Bauer wouldn’t touch ’em.

Why do we continue to let these aged out windbags have a say, sorry, a sez in who gets into Major League Baseball’s hallowed hall of fame? Especially when the game passed them by so long ago it’s actually laughable.

In Canepa’s latest cigar-ashed manuscript of suck he spends an entire page yelling “GET OFF MY LAWN!” to any ball player who didn’t wear wool slacks. It’s a sad display of just how out of touch the majority of gatekeepers in Major League Baseball are, and mind-numbingly infuriating that they get to continue to be a gatekeeper.

SDUT’s Canepa rants about keeping his Hall of Fame ballot blank yet again because he doesn’t think any of the current crop stand up to…BUCK O’NEILL?? Of course they don’t! None of us do. What a weird stance. Not as weird as his take that “medically induced” stats don’t belong either. Meanwhile, Canepa was covering the game back then and didn’t see any issue with it at the time. In fact, I bet he wrote page after page fawning over the harrowing feats of the Beefy Monsters saving Baseball. Even if he didn’t, he found no accountability on the subject until after the fact.

He also fails to do an ounce of journalism to uncover that while Bonds, and Clemens, and the rest of them were racking up ungodly numbers they were doing it…legally. Sure, it was frowned upon, and in some cases “banned”, but for the most part no one gave a shit – certainly not Bud Selig – who I can bet my life Nick Canepa respects the hell out of it.

Canepa, like Selig and every other member of the ‘real’ Baseball guard, takes absolutely no responsibility for letting these players get away with all of it; only calling attention to it when it benefited them in the eyes of the fans.

It’s not just his lazy and pathetic take on a steroid era he helped publicize, it’s his completely outdated hatred of the DH and literally anything that’s interesting about Baseball after 1975. His ramblings are not only completely devoid of reality they’re dangerous to the advancement of a sport he long-stopped giving a shit about.

To that point, I have an idea for Major League Baseball, The BBWAA, and any one else associated with the Hall of Fame: If the people voting for the Hall have no interest in Baseball anymore or leave their ballot blank THEN STOP LETTING THEM FUCKING VOTE.

There are legitimate Baseball writers out there doing incredible work who study and invest time and energy into the sport and analytical research, who don’t get to vote on the game they’re actually covering because grandpa sad sacks still has tenure.

Meanwhile, we give these ancient artifacts who couldn’t spell ‘sabermetrics’ if you showed it to them, and throw up at the mere mention of a “bullpen game”, all the power needed to ‘correctly’ remember the game.

Well, fuck that.

As we’ve seen over and over again old rich idiots will do everything they can to destroy something in the hopes that they don’t have to understand it.

Take Canepa’s vote away. Give it to someone who cares. Give it to someone who doesn’t hate the way Machado or Tatis play the game. Give it to someone who doesn’t hate the shift, or stats, or things that weren’t around when anyone gave a shit about their opinion.

Give it to someone who doesn’t hate Baseball.

Leaving your ballot blank is the best way to announce to the world your current knowledge of the game.

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Written By :

Dallas McLaughlin is a writer and performer for the Emmy-winning Yo! Gabba Gabba! and The Aquabats! Super Show! He's also worked as a consultant for Disney Television Animation, Nickelodeon, and Fox Sports. A diehard San Diego sports fan, Dallas has written passionately against the DH and in favor of Padre Brown for, The Sports Minute, Fox Sports, Voice of San Diego, San Diego Magazine, and is one of the founding members of The Kept Faith. A professional standup comedian who's performed with Norm McDonald, Chris Hardwick, Dave Attell, Jeff Garlin, and many more. He recently won San Diego's Funniest Person Contest, and has been featured on FoxRox, Tonight in San Diego, and was a DJ on FM94/9 for over seven years. Dallas has spent over two decades on stage as an actor, award-winning playwright and director. In his spare time, Dallas likes to eat burritos, drink beer, and talk to his wife about her dislike for Harry Connick, Jr.


  • Anonymous

    …”There are legitimate Baseball writers out there doing incredible work who study and invest time and energy into the sport and analytical research, who don’t get to vote on the game they’re actually covering because grandpa sad sacks still has tenure.”…

    Dear Young Whelp,
    You must be referring to yourself in the quote from your article. Well pal, get over yourself. Your day is coming and it will be here sooner than you think. There will be some unborn sports writer who will delight in bashing you and your years of work…assuming you have years of work to display.

    Bashing a local icon isn’t at all becoming or interesting and makes you look like a whining pup who thinks he knows it all. You’ve got a long way to go before you get to Nicky’s lofty status and quantity of work. I’ve not caught your stand-up act, but I’d be willing to be that Nick is funnier than you.

    Try again when you have something of substance to comment on.

    Mr. T
    Sabre Springs

    • Scott Dunsmore

      I think that this was a tremendous missed opportunity to tell Dallas that you “pity the fool,” Mr. T.

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