Page 2 of 16

Petco Experience – TKF Pod #88

This week the guys talk about the current state of the Petco Park experience. With the team struggling, going Downtown to a game is still a fun time, but there are things that could be better. With guests Andy Keatts of Voice of San Diego (Orioles fan) and Nate Abaurrea from Soccer Nation (Giants fan), they examine the complexities of in-game stadium operations. Are the fun facts provided about the players on the jumbotron actually that fun? Is the jumbotron itself too big and distracting to enjoy the beauty of the game in front of the viewer? These all the important questions that need to be asked. Then they discuss the Padres’ use of Blink 182’s song “San Diego” from their recent album California. The team uses the song when they win, but the lyrics express deeper feelings about the city that might not be exactly celebratory in the way the Friars intend. The guys go deep on other songs used in this way from other markets and try to figure out what the Padres are trying to say with their choice. The one attraction that everyone can agree on is the beauty of rookie sensation catcher Austin Hedges. He has rebounded from his slow start to put up some exciting power numbers, all while maintaining his superb defense. In closing, they talk about the future of the Soccer City SD movement. Nate explains his experience working with youth club teams, the Sockers, the teams on the other side of the border that contribute to this market, and more. What role will SDSU play in the final decisions that the city has to make in November regarding bringing MLS to the city? Time will tell, but it’s looking like another summer of stadium talk headed our way.

Download the episode here:

iTunes – Please rate and review!

PodOmatic

Google Play

Follow us on Twitter: @thekeptfaith

Margot Leading Off

By Nicholas McCann

The night before the official announcement came down that the Chargers were leaving, reports trickled in that it was happening. Immediately, I looked around my house for all my team gear. It felt smart to make a list of things to destroy. The bolt mug my mom found at a church rummage sale was shattered in my alley. My Antonio Gates powder blue home jersey was then used to clean up the mug’s broken glass and became featured in a TKF Instagram video essay. In the midst of dividing up the items into groups for separate methods of destruction (Burn, shatter, or drown), I came across a knitted snow cap that took the shape of the Chargers helmet. A friend of mine gave a bunch of them out as Christmas gifts a few years back. That hat will never be destroyed. It was purchased from a local girl who stitched them by hand, and after going through the application process, she was denied official licensing by the NFL. She now lives in Germany and has a family.

It’s not the Padres job to fix me. They’ve made their choices, and unlike Dean Spanos, I’ve chosen to stay. The only baseball team I’ve ever loved is rebuilding again, and as always, I’m skeptical of ownership’s ability to pull it off. Consequently, I feel the same way about myself. This has to be my last go ’round. I need to be the owner of my own happiness and never let a professional sports team hurt me again. I’m too old for that and I have a son now. If the Padres can’t change themselves into a winner I can’t be an angry San Diego sports fan in front of him.

Outfielder Manuel Margot and three other prospects were traded to the Padres from the Boston Red Sox for Craig Kimbrel before last season. Regardless of what the team was saying publicly, this was the first real step in the direction of the current rebuild. They knew they didn’t need a closer and Boston was getting jammed up with young outfield talent. My son was born a few months after the transaction and now Margot is here.

Did I mention my wife is from Boston? She is.

On Wednesday night Andy Green started Travis Jankowski at lead off in the batting order. It wasn’t a big deal, but not having Margot in the opening slot at the top made me nervous. Green has mostly been using Manuel there and it’s felt reassuring to have him in the position to control the tone of a game from the jump. Travis is just a fast dude who plays hard and might have a career at this level. However, when Manny leads off it’s something different. With him, a tangible feeling of relief enters in that informs the rest of the game no matter what the result ends up being. He represents the start of our future. His smile makes me think about what a parade would feel like in the Gaslamp. When he does something exciting, like opening up San Diego’s offense with a leadoff double or homerun, it feels like we’re collectively throwing a lit cigarette at Dean Spanos’ problematic face. Is it unfair to attach this stuff to a young outfielder at the dawn of his career? Perhaps, but as Padres fans adjust to accepting the team being bad for the next few years, Margot is the most realistic embodiment of a preview for something better to come. He is the lighthouse telling our ship where the land is, and more precisely, he gives us hope that land may actually exist.

Manuel started off hot in the first few series and has slightly come back to earth a bit. If this continues the team will be justified in sending him down to El Paso for a few weeks to preserve his service time and give him a chance to work on some things. This will probably spark some debate from the media and the fans because (A) the rules in place allow for it and (B) we’ll have little else to talk about as the Padres plummet deeper into the reality we all saw coming for 2017.

This is all fine for now. My son will have no memory of this time. Right now he’s as excited about our dryer as I am about Margot. Besides, I don’t even remember falling in love with Tony Gwynn. I was born in 1980 and he was always just there as a constant in my life, becoming the greatest contact hitter of his generation as my brain began to form. The rebuild needs to work so my son and I can have some version of what I had. It starts with Margot. He can’t fail. He will be our favorite player together if the universe or the Padres don’t ruin him.

Baseball changed for me after the fire sale of the early 90s. My dad had to explain to me what the value of a franchise meant and why the owner (and producer of the Cosby show) had to strip the Padres down so he could sell it. After destroying all my licensed Chargers gear, I packed up the handmade snow cap in a box in our garage. I’ll explain it to my son later. Like the Padres, I’ll have to build up to that.

 

Follow @Nicholas_McCann on Twitter and subscribe to The Kept Faith’s Podcast on iTunes!

Lee “Hacksaw” Hamilton is Back! – TKF Pod #87

This week the guys examine how many people still prefer to consume baseball on the radio. The Padres switched broadcasting stations this year, and co-host (and former on-air DJ) Dallas McLaughlin discusses his recent article on voiceofsandiego.org about the switch from Mighty 1090 to FM 94.9, the adjustment for fans, and the talent associated with the team. Later in the show, San Diego broadcasting legend Lee “Hacksaw” Hamilton stops by to talk about the trajectory of the Padres organization and ownership’s ability to sell their product to the fan base. Then they discuss the huge hole the Chargers’ departure left in the community at every level, and Lee gives his thoughts on the Spanos family’s mistakes, the local sports media scrambling in the wake of the exit, and the future for the NFL in this city. From over the airwaves to on the field, the hosts also dig into their feelings on the current direction of the team. On Tuesday night the Padres allowed their starting shortstop Erick Aybar to come in and pitch. The game was a blowout and everything worked out, but was this a good look for a baseball team to project in April? Is being a weird team fun? Should fans “Embrace the Tank” and have fun with it? The guys explore these themes and their honest reactions to them while looking forward to what the future may or may not bring. Check out leehacksawhamilton.com for all things Hacksaw!

Download the episode here:

iTunes – Please rate and review!

PodOmatic

Google Play

Follow us on Twitter: @thekeptfaith

John Gennaro and David Jay – TKF Pod #86

Baseball is back and so far the Padres aren’t terrible. After ten games they have an even record with some legitimate bright spots. This week the guys sat down with The Mighty 1090’s John Gennaro and David Jay from Madfriars.com to discuss the still-young season. There was plenty to talk about! First they discussed San Diego’s relationship with former Padres manager Bud Black, who was fired almost two years ago and has reemerged as the head coach of the Colorado Rockies, an in-division semi-rival. Wil Myers hit for the 2nd cycle in Padres history and the guys talked about how this exciting event spawned vitriol towards Matt Kemp, the polarizing former Padres outfielder, who while in San Diego, hit for the franchise’s first cycle. Then they talked about the overall trajectory of the rebuilding Padres by looking at players of note in the minors with David Jay, who studies all levels of the team’s development system. Will the Padres be able to rebuild in a timely fashion to satisfy the fans, media, potential free agents or TKF co-host Dallas McLaughlin? It’s too early to tell. Regardless, everybody on this podcast agreed that CF Manuel Margot is fun enough for now. Let’s go Padres!

Download the episode here:

iTunes – Please rate and review!

PodOmatic

Google Play

Follow us on Twitter: @thekeptfaith

 

Opening Day Party Pod – TKF Pod #85

This week the guys talk to friends Robert Pouder (Dodgers fan) and Joe Chandler (Padres fan who went to Opening Day in LA). They talk about Clayton Kershaw’s performance, Bethancourt, and Andy Green.

It’s going to be a long year. Sad!

Download the episode here:

iTunes – Please rate and review!

PodOmatic

Google Play

Follow us on Twitter: @thekeptfaith

Brady Phelps Returns! – TKF Pod #84

This week the guys sit down with Brady Phelps from Lobshots.com. They talk about the Raiders going to Vegas, the Padres upcoming season, and the beauty of the Lavar Ball Crying Jordan meme. Then they close The Kept Faith Baseball Film Series #TKFBFS with For The Love of The Game (1999).

Download the episode here:

iTunes – Please rate and review!

PodOmatic

Google Play

Follow us on Twitter: @thekeptfaith

The Blashwagon – TKF Pod #83

This week the guys sit down with Andy Keatts from VOSD and Padres Jagoff from Gwynntelligence.com to discuss the past, present, and future of The Blashwagon (The party bus for Jabari Blash supporters aka Blashheads). Then they talk about the Lake Elsinore Storm, WBC, San Diego Hall of Champions, and March Madness. Finally, they continue The Kept Faith Baseball Film Series #TKFBFS with a debate over the Rookie of The Year/Little Big League rivalry.

Download the episode here:

iTunes – Please rate and review!

PodOmatic

Google Play

Follow us on Twitter: @thekeptfaith

Also, check out our own Dallas McLaughlin’s new comedy album An Evening of This.

Abby Hamblin (UT Ideas) – TKF Pod #82

This week the guys chat with Abby Hamblin from the UT about the Padres, San Diego hosting the World Baseball Classic, and the NCAA Tournament. Then they continue on The Kept Faith Baseball Film Series #TKFBFS journey with Angels in The Outfield (1994).

Download the episode here:

iTunes – Please rate and review!

PodOmatic

Google Play

Follow us on Twitter: @thekeptfaith

Also, check out our own Dallas McLaughlin’s new comedy album An Evening of This.

Bernie Wilson – TKF Pod #81

This week the bros have Bernie Wilson from the Associated Press on for some bro time. They talk about Padres Spring Training, Aztec Basketball and get into Bernie’s time covering the America’s Cup sailing competition. Then they look back at the 1994 Ron Shelton joint “Cobb”. #TKFBFS

Download the episode here:

iTunes – Please rate and review!

PodOmatic

Google Play

Follow us on Twitter: @thekeptfaith

Which NFL Team Do I Root For Now? We Help!

Since the Chargers left San Diego, and ultimately left all of their fans feeling abandoned and lonely it only seems appropriate for you to leave the Chargers. But, which NFL team deserves you’re undying loyalty and fandom? Why should you root for that new team? Why should you avoid that new team at all costs? Well, you’re in luck cause I’ve done the research for you! Below I’ve presented all thirty-one teams as possible suitors for you – the fan! Pros, cons, and more! I started with the most recent Super Bowl teams, and then through the AFC and NFC. Enjoy!

(HOF = hall of fame)

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS:

Super Bowl wins: 5

Players in HOF: 7

The New England Patriots is the Walking Dead of NFL teams. Everyone loved them in the beginning of the Brady/Belichick era. Scrappy, young, talented team full of key players and no real superstars. Then they kept winning. They kept hanging around. You still really enjoy watching them play and marvel at how the nobodies became Hall of Famers, but now it’s just getting repetitive. If you weren’t in from the beginning it’s too late to catch up, and if you were in – you’re over it. Still a great franchise, probably the best in the league, and if you jump on the wagon, you’re in for a smooth ride for at least a few more years.

PROS: Championships and Giselle’s terrible air-fives.

CONS: #MAGA

ATLANTA FALCONS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 7

The Falcons seem to be everyone’s favorite team right now. In fact people I had no clue were Falcons fans came out of the dark this season, and started once again rooting for the South’s most beloved gridiron gods. To be fair, I don’t blame any Falcons fan for hiding their loyalty after the Michael Vick debacle of murdering dogs for sport. But, it seems the Falcons are back and might be for a few years to come. Perfect time to jump on board, unless you watched the Super Bowl and realized Matty Ice might be the new Jim Kelly.

PROS: One of the best owners in sports, get to watch Julio Jones.

CONS: Putting up with people calling it “Hotlanta”.

DENVER BRONCOS:

Super Bowl wins: 3

Players in HOF: 7

Rooting for Denver will probably feel strange for most ex-Chargers fans, but out of the old division rivals they’re kind of the easiest to align with. They’re a properly run organization, a lot of history and success, and they won a playoff game with Tim Tebow. God is on their side. You’re kind of in the same boat as you were before with a franchise in flux, but you get in on the ground floor before they become a powerhouse again – which they will.

PROS: You can finally admit you always liked John Elway, great excuse to wear orange.

CONS: Always feeling a little dead inside.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS:

Super Bowl wins: 1

Players in HOF: 11

Kansas City might be a little harder than Denver to switch over to only because their fans are kind of assholes. I don’t know why either. It’s not like they’ve ever been some sought after franchise, or legendary powerhouse. Sure, they’ve been around forever, but currently the best thing going for them is that the Jaguars, Cardinals, and Titans exist. However, from time to time they do put together a winner and play in a beautiful stadium. Being a Chiefs fan isn’t the worst thing to be, and that’s the best thing you can say about them.

PROS: Rooting for a franchise that Joe Montana once played for.

CONS: Watching Andy Reid and Alex Smith talk about plays.

OAKLAND RAIDERS:

Super Bowl wins: 3

Players in HOF: 16

Out of all the AFC West rivals Oakland might be the hardest to get used to. Their fans are insufferable, you may die at any game the team plays in, Al Davis ruined West Coast football, and you’ve spent most of your life using the F-word when it comes to watching the Raiders on TV. However, they have a ton of franchise success, Dean Spanos took over Al Davis’ crown as “most hated owner in California football”, John Madden was their most successful coach and the silver and black is a kick-ass color combo. Plus, they have one of the better 30 for 30’s in the entire series. PLUS, they may soon be the San Diego Raiders – so problem solved! At first glance you’re gonna hate this idea, but think about it – what better way to tell Dean to f-off? Lastly, they’re a young and talented team, and have a great coach that loves the Raiders. Great time to buy a Carr jersey.

PROS: You get to wear spikes.

CONS: Murder.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 0

I mean, sure. Why not?

PROS: You can literally be on the ground floor of a fanbase that’s been around for way too long to still have a ground floor.

CONS: Everything else.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS:

Super Bowl wins: 2

Players in HOF: 12

Having just gone through a sports break up, you might want to steer clear of the Colts. Sure, Indianapolis didn’t steal the Colts from Baltimore, but you’re basically going from one terrible owner to another and for little to no upside. They have some history of success, and some of the greatest players who’ve ever played once donned a Colts jersey, but with no clear road to success ahead you might have a hard time convincing yourself to root for Frank Gore. However, they are one of the teams who trolled the Chargers on their LA logo, and that has to count for something.

PROS: Andrew Luck?

CONS: Drunk Irsay.

TENNESSEE TITANS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 8 (as Oilers)

When I think of the Titans, I think of that one scene in Castaway, and it might be one of the saddest scenes in modern cinema. This is a great metaphor for the Titans franchise. Again you’re dealing with a transplant team, and that may not be something you’re okay with.

PROS: Their helmet has a blue flame on it. That’s funny.

CONS: The worst logo in professional sports – and yes, I’m counting the Marlins.

HOUSTON TEXANS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 0

This could be a good landing spot for Chargers fans. Sure, they have no quarterback, and I’m afraid their coach might die of an aneurysm at any moment, but they are young, have JJ Watt, and might be good for a few more years. They aren’t the flashiest team, and I literally stopped twice to look at YouTube chemtrail videos while trying to write about them, but I mean…sure.

PROS: Young defense, plenty of potential.

CONS: Chemtrails are real.

CLEVELAND BROWNS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 13

My best friend has been a lifelong Browns fan, and I respect that. I really do. And, let’s be honest if you’re Chargers fan you may like being tortured, so the Browns might be perfect for you! I’ve never seen a worse run franchise, except for the Chargers. I’ve never seen less enthusiasm for a team, except for the Chargers. And, I’ve never heard more groans when talking about a team, except for when I talk about the Chargers! Feels like home!

PROS: I don’t care what you say, the Browns unis are sweet.

CONS: Pick one. You could even make something up.

CINCINATTI BENGALS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 3

Full disclosure I’m a Bengals fan. I grew up a Bengals and Chargers fan. Back in 2015 when Dean tried to move the Chargers I officially denounced all love for the Bolts and became a full-time Bengals devotee. It’s been a rough ride, and I’m never quite sure when a Bengal will kill an opposing player on the field, but I take comfort in being mentally prepared for it.

PROS: Andy Dalton.

CONS: Andy Dalton.

BALTIMORE RAVENS:

Super Bowl wins: 2

Players in HOF: 1

I really want to like the Ravens. I really do. Perhaps it’s all the murdering that Ray Lewis did, or the purple color scheme, or the whole Ray Rice punching women thing. I mean, it just feels wrong to root for them. However, Joe Flacco seems nice.

PROS: You get the one Harbaugh that’s tolerable.

CONS: You remember when Ray Lewis got away with murder, and then became an analyst and started telling current NFL players to get their act together and stop being stupid off the field?

PITTSBURGH STEELERS:

Super Bowl wins: 6

Players in HOF: 20

There’s a lot to love if you’re a Steelers fan. Historically one of the best franchises in professional sports history with the most championships in NFL history. Great running back, great wide receivers, Tomlin is fun to watch, and they always seem to be in the conversation. As Chargers fans we don’t know what that feels like – so now might be a great time to experience it. Plus, no one would ever call you a bandwagoner for all of a sudden liking Pittsburgh! That’s how consistently good they’ve always been! No one really hates Steelers fans, because Pittsburgh is basically one long Springsteen song, and they have the best looking throwbacks in all the NFL! Go for it. Say you love Mean Joe Green – because you do – I already believe you!

PROS: What’s not to like? (I mean of course there’s the whole Big Ben thing…)

CONS: The whole Big Ben thing…

NEW YORK JETS:

Super Bowl wins: 1

Players in HOF: 5

The Jets…they could be like…you know, if you put together all the times…J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS! So…I mean…you’d get to yell that a lot?

PROS: You tell me.

CONS: 2009 and 2010 playoffs. Still hurts.

MIAMI DOLPHINS:

Super Bowl wins: 2

Players in HOF: 10

Is it weird that the Dolphins started their NFL lives as one of the most successful teams in the league? Remember that they’re the only undefeated team in NFL history? Like, despite the last 20 years the Dolphins have been a powerhouse in this league. Weird, right? But, hey! This might be a good place for you to land as a fan. You could pretend to have always known how great the Dolphins were in the 60’s and 70’s, and people would probably be fascinated. Don Schula used to ride through practices on a scooter! This is your team. Miami is like San Diego in a weird way, the color scheme isn’t terrible, and the franchises always seem to be just as relevant. Do it.

PROS: Don Schula rode a God damn scooter in practices!

CONS: Hurricanes. Real ones.

BUFFALO BILLS:

Super Bowl wins:

Players in HOF: 10

This might be another logical place for Chargers fans to land. Cool uniforms, diehard fans, no one will call you a bandwagoner for switching to the Bills because the Bills wagon broke down years ago! You get a great 30 for 30, and you can become a fan now when the team is years away from competing, so when they do win it all you’ll felt like you earned it.

PROS: Vincent Gallo’s unbelievably awkward film Buffalo ’66.

CONS: Any other Vincent Gallo film.

DALLAS COWBOYS:

Super Bowl wins: 5

Players in HOF: 16

If the Patriots had a predecessor it would be the Dallas Cowboys. “America’s Team” hasn’t really felt like that for quite some time. In fact, they got so popular almost everyone, even Troy Aikman, decided to hate them from about 1998 to 2015. However, with rookies like Dak Prescott and Zeke Elliot the Cowboys are starting to resemble the team my generation grew up idealizing. Sure Jerry Jones is a blowhard, and Jason Garrett looks like he’s always going to cry, but they’re young, they play like a team, and they’ve finally shed themselves of the Jessica Simpson curse. No one would blame you for adopting this squad, but tread softly, you might want to wait until after they fire Garrett then hire Jim Harbaugh then fire him, then hire Norv Turner.

PROS: Classic unis, get to claim Emmitt Smith, and already went through Ryan Leaf.

CONS: Garrett’s two-minute drills, whatever they get back for Romo, have to claim Greg Hardy.

NEW YORK GIANTS:

Super Bowl wins: 4

Players in HOF: 18

Eli. Pass.

PROS: Only team to stick it to the Patriots, Little Giants, ODB’s ridiculous catches.

CONS: Eli. Eli. Eli.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS:

Super Bowl wins: 3

Players in HOF: 17

If an ownership group ever felt like the Spanos’ it would be the Snyders. Like, just completely out of touch, consistently in over their heads, somehow losing money with the biggest sport in America, and can never seem to get out of their own way. Perhaps you need this in your life. Perhaps you’re like Brooks in Shawshank and you like being institutionalized. You need the hardships and the sadness. It’s become so much a part of you, that if you don’t have it you will die. If that’s the case – Brooks was here.

PROS: Um…give me a second…

CONS: The last thirty years.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 9

You remember that Mark Wahlberg movie where he’s a bartender in Philly and they have open tryouts and he goes and gets signed and he plays for the Eagles and it’s based on a true story? Yea.

PROS: Cool throwbacks, they have great fans; Greg Kinnear was also in the movie with Mark Wahlberg.

CONS: They may never win a Super Bowl. Ever.

GREEN BAY PACKERS:

Super Bowl wins: 4

Players in HOF: 23

This franchise is a lot like the Steelers, in the sense that everyone kinda likes them, and that’s okay. They might have the best colors in the NFL, they have arguably the greatest quarterback of the last decade, and they always seem relevant. Plus, the city owns the team! I mean, how cool is that? No one would ever get mad at you for being a Packer fan, except Lions, Bears and Vikings fans, but other than that probably no one. You get to do Lambeau Leaps into your pool, and you get all the joys of Green Bay football without having to ever step foot in Green Bay! Win-win!

PROS: Discount double checks.

CONS: That feeling that deep down inside this isn’t who you want to be.

DETROIT LIONS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 15

I would argue the Detroit Lions are the most tortured franchise in NFL history. Has any team meant more to a league and done less with it? I mean one of the best players to ever play the game retired early because he didn’t want to play for the team anymore. Plus, rooting for the Lions sounds weird. Like, does anyone really root for the Lions or do they just hope that they don’t lose so much? Perfect example – my Uncle John grew up loving the Lions. To this day never wears anything but Lions gear. I’ve never heard him say one word about the Lions. Ever. In this case you’ve already been rooting for the Lions. You always have been. No reason to stop, or continue.

PROS: Great history, legendary players, Motown.

CONS: A lot of losing. Just so much losing.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 13

Liking the Minnesota Vikings is like being a big fan of the old TV show ‘Coach’. Not just because they both take place in Minnesota, and purple is part of both of their color schemes, but because they’re both easy to like and for no good reason. If you’re a Vikings fan, you probably live in or are from Minnesota. You probably drink a lot, and you’ve probably never had to think about it much. I’m not insulting their fans, or maybe I am, but I am saying that your team is comparable to a second-rate sitcom that was intended for people over 40. But, hey you got Sam Bradford!

PROS: Getting to claim Adrian Peterson, using Viking lore as analogies for your games, nothing but upside.

CONS: Sam Bradford, knowing down deep that you’ll never win a Super Bowl.

CHICAGO BEARS:

Super Bowl wins: 1

Players in HOF: 25

There’s something about being a Bears fan that feels right. They have this legendary history of being a hardnosed, back-breaking defensive powerhouse. Only problem is they haven’t been relevant for a long time and rooting for the Bears feels about as 80’s as Ronald Reagan drinking Clear Pepsi while singing “Like a Virgin”. But hey, every four seasons or so the Bears look like they have a shot. And, you could do worse in picking a team to root for forever (SEE: Vikings).

PROS: The Super Bowl Shuffle, getting to claim the Fridge, The SNL “Super Fans” sketch.

CONS: Matt Barkley is your current quarterback.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS:

Super Bowl wins: 1

Players in HOF: 4

Talk about amazing throwback uniforms, the Bucs might have the best of all time. That weird orange, white, and yellow combo makes for an ugly yet extremely appealing jersey. Tampa Bay has never had a ton of success as a franchise, but it’s been a long time since they’ve been considered a laughing-stock as well. They always seem to be one or two players away from putting it all together and as an ex-Chargers fan that might be as appealing to you as orange and yellow. Winston is an emerging QB, Doug Martin might be good…again, and they always seem to be in every game. Could be a nice time to be a Bucs fan.

PROS: The pirate ship that fires a canon every time they score.

CONS: You’re forced to take a position on Warren Sapp.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS:

Super Bowl wins: 1

Players in HOF: 4

This is a tough one for me. I’ve always enjoyed the Saints. I like the colors, the city, and I was a massive Drew Brees fan. However, I can’t find a reason to root for them. But, hey that’s just me. You dig beads and baby cakes and jazz and JFK conspiracy theories? Then Nola might be for you. They’re a pretty well run franchise with moderate success, and always seem to have one or two guys you really want to root for. With the emergence of the Falcons it might be a long time till they’re winners again, but you never know with the South.

PROS: Get to have Drew Brees back in your life, get to wear a fleur de lis and not get beat up.

CONS: Sean Payton, never having a good Running Back.

CAROLINA PANTHERS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 0

I feel like the Panthers are the Oklahoma City Thunder or Drake or Solange of the NFL. There is so much potential, and you continually see flashes of greatness, but will that greatness last an entire season, and the fact that they did have one good season you’re afraid that that greatness will never happen again. The issue here is that no one knows, and neither will you as a fan. Of all the teams in the league this one could give you the highest of highs and the lowest of lows every other week. For the rest of your life. If you decide to go down this road use extreme caution and buy lots of Tylenol.

PROS: Cam Newton is extremely fun to watch, Ron Rivera is a bad ass, a feeling that you’re hip.

CONS: The color scheme is terrible, Jake Delhomme works security, and Cam Newton might die on every play.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS:

Super Bowl wins: 1

Players in HOF: 4

Fuck Pete Carroll. Richard Sherman is an asshole. Russell Wilson is so overrated you might as well call him Colin Kaepernick.

PROS: None.

CONS: All.

ARIZONA CARDINALS:

Super Bowl wins: 0

Players in HOF: 13

This is an interesting one. Although I have so much disdain for Bruce Arians it makes me never want to support the NFL, I actually enjoy the Cardinals. A team that can turn old quarterbacks good again and always has one or two receivers that are just plain awesome. They’ve been good long enough for you to think that it might stick, and they play in a stadium that you could drive to. As a Chargers fan I’d put this team in your top five.

PROS: Cool unis, you get to say “Football Cardinals”, can buy a Rod Tidwell jersey and mean it.

CONS: Bruce Arians, and the overwhelming confusion that comes with Cuba Gooding, Jr’s career.

LOS ANGELES RAMS:

Super Bowl wins: 1

Players in HOF: 18

You could root for the Rams out of spite. Like an anti-Chargers move, but ultimately any money you give them will somehow benefit the Spanos family. Also, Stan Kroenke is an asshole who just screwed over a great sports city because he wanted more money. Sound familiar? A little too much. I’d say pass on the Rams and let Spanos and Kroenke fight it out for most irrelevant franchise in LA.

PROS: I sincerely can’t think of one.

CONS: Jared Goff.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ers:

Super Bowl wins: 5

Players in HOF: 15

The last team on our list might actually be the best option for Chargers fans looking for a new team to love. You’re first reaction would be to hate them for the 1994 Super Bowl, which is considered by many to be one of the most lopsided victories in the history of the Super Bowl, but that would be silly. The 49ers were the best team in the league that year, and the Chargers lucked into that game by a yard. Plus, that was a long time ago. San Francisco is a different beast now. They’ve had plenty of down years, went through Harbaugh and then Chip Kelly. They had the whole National Anthem fiasco. I mean, this team has been through some shit. The best part for Chargers fans is that there is no light at the end of the tunnel for the 49ers, so they feel like an underdog. In fact saying you’re a 49ers fan these days sounds more like a joke than anything else. Perfect time to claim a team with amazing history, tons of success, but it all being so far in the past that no one cares anymore! It’s a win-win!

PROS: Getting to claim Montana, Steve Young, and Jerry Rice. Great color scheme and logo, playing in a division you might win every year no matter how good you are.

CONS: Other than not being any good for a couple of seasons I can’t think of one!

So, there you have it. All thirty-one NFL teams proposed as possible destinations for your fandom. Never forget that you’re in this situation because the NFL itself let you be, and that the league is built and fueled by greed and wealth with very little concern for the fan. If you’re okay with that then choose wisely, because you never know when the team you choose will one morning change their twitter handle, make a shitty logo, and leave you in the rear view mirror.

HAPPY PICKING!

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2017

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑