The Chargers beat the Browns. Whoopdy doo. It wasn’t a dominating performance. The Bolts played a solid game and I’d be more terrified about their resurgence if not for the fact that this solid game was against an 0-11 team. The same team whose only win last year was against a tanking, LA-bound Spanos-owned franchise in a tail spin.
The more troubling part about this victory, is that they are now tied for the lead in the AFC west. The soul-wrenching nature of this dead heat is tantamount only to the virtual tie in the Alabama senate race. And make no mistake the Chargers are the Roy Moore of the NFL: Abandoned by the rest of the country, defiant to all common sense, pariah of hometown storefronts, a legacy of ruined childhoods, only supported by insane brainwashed locals who have traded their last strand of moral fiber for any chance at winning something.
And yeah maybe the crimes of the Chargers do not exceed that of known Alabama mall exile Roy Moore. If you agree I highly encourage you to donate to KKK-prosecuting hero Doug Jones’ senate campaign as I have. Sorry to get political, but so rarely do you get the chance to invest in not having a child molester in the senate.
Anyway here’s what happened in the Browns-Chargers game:
- LA’s new kicker Travis Coons missed another FG, keeping with Chargers tradition, and especially for those with a last name starting with “Koo.” (Reminder: there are no bad kickers, just bad teams who have kickers.)
- Josh Gordon is back from his party sabbatical and looks amazing. One day he might even have a QB to throw the football to him, rather than him tracking it down somewhere in the vicinity.
- Joey Bosa continues to be a beast. I look forward to his awkward contract negotiations in a couple years.
- The StubHub center was about ⅔ capacity, with equal or greater number of 0-11 Browns fans, which is a truly historic feat of stadium incompetence by Spanos.
The Chargers have a real chance at winning out and repeating the 1992 season of starting 0-4 but finishing 10-6. But I doubt they will, since that team played in a city that loved them.
Jono Zalay is a native San Diegan and co-host of the F*** The Chargers podcast, available on iTunes and all those other places. He now lives in Los Angeles where he can hate the Chargers from close proximity.