Week 12 Recap: Chargers @ Cowboys
Ezekiel Elliott has given us the gift of exposure. And this time it is not just his bare midriff like his slutty draft day suit. Zeke exposed the Cowboys offense, which looked weak and un-dynamic. He exposed the level of play in the league, which hinges on the health/availability of about three players per squad. He exposed Jerry Jones as the psychopathic vindictive owner who would threaten to sue the NFL. He exposed Roger Goodell as a legally vulnerable bellwether coward with no scruples. He exposed the NFL for not having a clear cut way to deal with abusive assholes like him. And he exposed the legal system which favors the rich and powerful over victims of such abuse. It has become harder to stay an NFL fan each year, and now seemingly each week.
Plus let’s not forget the worst part of the week: the Chargers won. Convincingly. For the second week in a row. The former Bolts fan in me knows this win streak cannot and will not sustain. The Chargers just happened to go against 2 average teams with personnel issues in the midst of their skids. But still, these wins will give the Chargers undue confidence. And I am not happy about it.
But this is a week of giving thanks. So I will be thankful for the following reasons:
- Nick Novak missed another field goal and injured himself doing so. The kicker quagmire continues and a reliable midseason replacement will be harder to find than the practice net was for Drew Kaser.
- A Cowboy DB dropped an easy INT because Jerry World™ was designed so poorly that the sun screams into the stadium from a weird angle, blinding players.
- Mike Williams continues to be injury-prone and will likely heal into another first round draft bust.
- The Chargers play the Browns in LA next week. The 0-11 Dog Pound probably won’t travel well, which means there will be no excuse for when StubHub is at 2/3 capacity when the Bolts are technically in the playoff hunt.
- The likely 7 or 8 win season will prevent the Chargers from getting a top-10 draft pick, unless they foolishly sell the farm to trade up.
- The Cowboys are in disarray, and fuck Jerry Jones and Zeke Elliott.
- Danny Woodhead is healthy again and he is the only white life that matters. He will help the Ravens lock up that last wild card spot and he and Eric Weddle can have a celebratory caffeine-free soda pop and give thanks to heavenly father.
Be thankful and keep the faith, for the Bolts will always blow it.
Jono Zalay is a native San Diegan and co-host of the F*** The Chargers podcast, available on iTunes and all those other places. He now lives in Los Angeles where he can hate the Chargers from close proximity.