Or should I say Chargers @ Chargers East… because there were some eerie similarities between these squads. Most notably: neither wanted the game to end. The Chargers out-Chargered the Jags, and Rivers out-Bortled Bortles. Remember that Saints game from last year where the Bolts gave up 2 turnovers in consecutive offensive plays to squander a 2 score lead with 2 min left in the game? It was like that except the Jaguars were also doing the same thing.

What made this game so satisfying wasn’t just that the Bolts blew a must-win game that they had in hand, but that this was the one team they could always count on to dominate each year. They are the Chargers’ Appalachian State. Their tune-up game to boost their confidence and record.  Instead they got a kick in the dick from their former big leg Josh Lambo, who I’m sure laughed about it after the game, as he is wont to do.

The Jags have long been the step-children of the NFL. Small market team short on history and accomplishments outside of consistent top 5 draft picks. A few years ago most would have assumed that if there was a team in LA by 2016, it would have been the Jags. But they somehow also lost in that contest as well. It would have made sense. But nothing makes sense in this league or decade. As a San Diego fan I always pitied Jacksonville. They were the poor kid across the street whose parents always fought. Meanwhile my football parents were secretly plotting to split the whole time and just maintained appearances for the sake of the community. Everything is a lie. God is dead.

As for the gameplay itself, here are some highlights:

  • The Jags scored on a fake punt. Which makes sense because special teams requires discipline and good coaching, of which the Chargers have none.
  • Denzel Perryman is back, and he’s fun to watch.
  • There were not only a bunch of Bortles thrown interceptions, but also dropped interceptions. Bortles. Is. Bad. The Jags should trade for Rivers this off season. Although…
  • Philip Rivers got a concussion. Get well soon Phil. In fact: retire. You’re too good for this team, and your kids miss you. And since you may be seeing double, there are roughly 28 of them. I hope your kids marry all of Antonio Cromartie’s kids and they birth a super-race that will save the planet.

I’m glad the Jags won and I wouldn’t hate it if they moved to San Diego someday.

Jono Zalay is a native San Diegan and co-host of the F*** The Chargers podcast, available on iTunes and all those other places. He now lives in Los Angeles where he can hate the Chargers from close proximity.